Redemption

Earlier this week, our first discussion about our new novel Everything Matters! quickly deteriorated into a no-holds-barred blame fest. As Ms. Serensky pointed out, our class has a remarkable tendency to turn everything into a witch hunt. I know for certain that I am guilty of this, as I immediately jumped into the blame game, trying to determine who was the biggest failure as a parent, person, and role model. However, I realize this is a very unkind and not a very useful habit to cultivate. In hopes of redeeming myself, I have decided to find all the things I like about the characters and say nice things about them, instead of self-righteously tearing them down.

Debbie: She was a pretty good mother to Junior for a few years. Although I can't condone the beating she gave Rodney during Junior's seizure, I can say it stemmed from a strong protective instinct for her younger son.

John Sr: A man of few words, while he can come off as cold, his kids seems to know he feels "genuine affection" for them (83). His physical absence is due not to a lack of love for his family but from a desire to provide for them. Most importantly, John has integrity; he refuses to profit off his son's talent for baseball, even though he could use the money. On the subject of that sport, I admire that the untimely end to his own promising career has not turned him into a bitter person.

Uncle Rodney: I suppose he didn't know Rodney was stealing cocaine from him.

Rodney: One moment from Rodney's visit to Chicago really stood out to me, as his father slowly strangles Dallas Green, Rodney steps in and asks to meet Harry Caray. It snaps John out of his murderous rage and when he explains to Rodney that that just isn’t going to happen, Rodney replies" I know...I just wanted you to stop choking him...I don't want you to go to jail" (80). Rodney is unconcerned with punishing Green for his arrogance or venting his rage, he just cares about keeping his family safe, what's not to admire?

What A Lovely Shade of Green!

I'll Do the Title Later

Computers are a wonderful invention, and whenever I pull up billions of results with a few keystrokes and the click of a button on Google, I know I'm spoiled. But that wealth of information all at my fingertips is a double-edged sword. Sometimes I tell people I have Internet ADD, because I just become so hopelessly distracted whenever I open it up. After doing four SOAPSTones in a row over the past two weeks, I have realized how distracted I become whenever I sit down at the computer to work. If you can sense a list coming right about now, your intuition is dead on.

Things I do Instead of Working on the Computer

1.      Read my classmates’ blogs

2.      Read the comments to my classmates’ blogs

3.      Read my old blog entries

4.      Read my old comments

5.      Find polls to vote on (I definitely need to spend less time on blogger)

6.      Pace

7.      Go on Wikipedia Tangents (I know they’re just trying to be helpful by making every other word a link but the temptation is too great for a procrastination addict like myself)

8.      Keep a detailed log of the comments I make to other blogs (I actually did this last semester, I spent a great deal of time double-checking my records and making sure my handwriting was neat)

9.      Write things in my planner which I have already done, just to have the satisfaction of crossing them out (probably not the point of having a planner, I know)

10.  Create a mental to-do list; go over it several times as I pace around my room. As the hours tick by and I procrastinate, getting nothing done, I gradually eliminate items from the list until it is just the bare essentials.

11.  Research competitive rabbit jumping (one of my favorite Wikipedia Tangents, apparently its popular in Northern Europe)

12.  Pace

13.  Sit at the computer, open a word document, open up the internet, check blogger, then turn around in my seat and watch TV for the next half hour

Looking at this list, I realize I have a serious problem with procrastination, and I’m not sure how I get anything done. Maybe I should it make my goal for the rest of my senior year to be more industrious, or I could do it next year…

It's a real thing!

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

Ladies and Gentlemen, our own Sarah Ross, reigning AP English student of the year, is turning 18 on Wednesday, February 23, 2011. To commemorate this momentous occasion, I wanted to share a few of my favorite things about Sarah.

1.      Sarah is really good at krumping and rapping.

2.      The phone messages she leaves for Katie Connolly, truly, they are jewels.

3.      THE ALL-CAPS TEXT MESSAGES SHE SENDS ME PERIODICALLY, WHAT A YOUNG BELLIGERENT.

4.      Sarah was almost named Betsy, in honor of Betsy Ross.

5.      When she contradicts herself in the course of a single sentence, example: “Oh, I’ll eat anything… but I’m really picky” or “No, no, really, I like dogs!” (As she cringes and flinches because of her proximity to a dog). To be fair, the dog in question was climbing on her and licking her face, but it was pretty funny to see Sarah, clearly uncomfortable, insist that she was completely fine with a dog climbing on her and licking her face.

6.      The “Smoky” voice.

7.      Sarah got AP English student of the year…and wasn’t present to receive her award

8.      Sarah does not believe that she is one of Ms. Serensky’s favorite students. When confronted with the evidence of the abovementioned award, she insists it means nothing and offers ridiculous explanations. Sarah is extremely modest, and I know she just wants to avoid bragging, but no one is going to believe that Ms. Serensky gave you the award “because she felt bad for you” Sarah.

9.      Hitting the road with Sarah is always an adventure; she is talented enough to drive without the use of her hands, eyes, or full attention.

10.  Her blog address is sarahpeross.blogspot.com. What is that “pe” doing between “sarah” and “ross” you might ask? Sarah opted to include the first two letters of her middle name, not the whole thing, or just the first initial, but the first two letters. Only Sarah.

11.  Her creative writing story. Sarah let me read the beginning stages of her “Adventures at the Cavs Games” and I recommend it to anyone who likes to be entertained. Really, I like any story Sarah is telling, she makes everything so funny.

12.  Sarah can do cornrows, or rather one single rat-tail cornrow down the back of your head, after which she gives up.

13.  Sarah has about a million nicknames, and she only pretends to dislike them.

14.  Sarah is so sincere, example: “Ms. Serensky, please write my essay.” Isn’t that what we all really wanted? All that complaining was just a smokescreen to hide what we were really asking for, and Sarah summed it up in six words.

15.  Sarah is a great writer, and always has been, just check out her childhood journal, she’s a natural comedian.

16.  Sarah is embarrassed by her friends; she shushes us if our voices become too piercing in public places. When I told her about this post she made a face and told me everyone would think I was weird and I shouldn’t do it. Obviously, I went ahead with it anyway, but please vote on my poll and let me know if you think this is weird.

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY SARAH PE. ROSS/ ROSSI-POO-POO/ ROSS THE BOSS!

Acknowledgments go to Katie Connolly for her help in brainstorming this list.

By the way Ms. Serensky, Sarah REALLY wants the whole class to sing happy birthday to her to open up Blog Banter on Wednesday, she’s just too shy to ask you herself.

Please comment with your favorite things about Sarah Ross and wish her a happy birthday on wednesday!

Eyes on the road Sarah!

The same reaction Sarah will have to 18 candles

Sometimes Sarah is just so embarased by her friends

The Birthday Girl!

What Sarah wears to rap

Belligerence

On Complaining About Data Sheets:

Be careful what you wish for.

Deja Vu Again



We the AP English Nerds... Are our own worst enemy

      As I sat in Government class and listened to Mr. Brownlow expound on the dangers of the majority and how the Constitution artfully controls and limits these dangers, I realized I had heard this lecture before. As usual, it all comes back to AP English. I recall a speech by Ms. Serensky in which she asserted that our stress and anxiety stems not from her tyranny (to use a government term) but from our collective neurosis. In government jargon, AP English students are a faction, perhaps several factions. The most dangerous of these factions is the chronic overachievers, I suppose we all fit into this category in terms of the world at large, but there are some who have earned overachiever status even within our competitive group. Nothing strikes fear into my heart like being surrounded by breathless mutterings of Shakespeare or rumors of 40 page data sheets. Then there is the classic overachiever cry of "I only memorized 37 quotes last night- do you think that will be enough? I'm just really stressed about it!" which suddenly makes my preparations seem woefully inadequate. I guess we are still under the Articles of Confederation down in the English hallway, our factions are out of control and tyranny of the majority is in full swing. We have a pretty big essay coming up and I have a revolutionary suggestion, in lieu of drafting a Constitution, let's just follow a simple game plan: remain calm, do not incite panic among your fellow students, and we will all get through this with our sanity intact.

The Name Game

      What's in a name? Today Ms. Serensky told us she thinks "Vernon" is a nerdy name, when I brought this up later Mr. Brownlow proclaimed it an "old man name." Well I looked up Vernon and apparently it means "place of alders “or "alder tree," which clears things up right? Not so much, I know, so I investigated alder trees next. It turns out alder trees are a Celtic symbol of giving and nurturing because the alder tree is known for restoring nutrients to barren soil. This description doesn't sound like our Vernon, if anything he is a leech, feeding on the friendship of Clive and using the Judge to promote his own anti-Garmony agenda. My investigation into the meaning of Vernon has proved disappointing in view of what I know about him so far, but some of the other characters names actually seem to fit.

      Clive: Clive means "cliff," "slope," or "bank," this seems appropriate given his need for communion with nature. In fact, Clive has a disturbing episode in which his desire to maintain his connection with the Lake District prompts him to turn a blind eye to an altercation between two people.

      Julian: This moniker means "down-bearded youth" which only looks useful next to "alder tree" as far as name meanings go. However, the website I used to find name meanings (babynamesworld.parentsconnect.com/) has a section where people who have the name can answer questions about it. One question asks whether the name lends itself to bullying, every single respondent reported that people turn it into feminine variations either mistakenly or to mock them. This coincidental gender confusion is interesting in light of Molly's photos of Garmony.

      George: The patron saint of England, means "earth worker." Since he is portrayed as a slightly ridiculous rich guy, I don't think either of these things applies to McEwan's George. However, there have been six King Georges and three president Georges. Despite all his pompous ridiculousness, George does hold power just as these men did.

      Overall, I think some of these connections are a stretch. Looking at the meaning of names can be a valuable exercise in some cases, but it shouldn't be taken too seriously. I have to conclude that our actions define us more than our names. Nonetheless, I had fun researching these names; I even found out that Vernon enjoyed a modest burst of popularity as a girl's name between 1881 and 1922. It was never exactly trendy; it peaked at #869 on the popularity list in 1896. Still, there was once a group of Miss Vernons running around this country. Amid all the speculation, I can say for sure that I do not see Vernon as a female name. Nerd? Perhaps. Old man? I can see that too, but a little girl with pigtails and a party dress? Definitely not.

Vernon?

Dire Predictions

In a way we are at our own crossroads

      Not to be melodramatic, but our recent reading material is worrying me a little bit. Faced with a lack of data sheets, my AP English paranoia and dismay has refocused on literary themes, and I am coming to some disturbing conclusions. First, we encountered a weepy and depressed grandmother who sees sadness in everything. Then, we were set loose on the internet to learn about Mr. McEwan, a man known affectionately as "Ian Macabre" who said himself that he "hate[s] comic novels." Tied into McEwan and Amsterdam is "Crossroads", which opens with the uplifting first lines "Two friends who met here and embraced are gone, / Each to his own mistake." Amsterdam itself opens outside a crematorium after a woman's sudden and unexpected death. Of course sadness, mistakes, and death are all a part of life and should be reflected in literature, but these themes have occurred with alarming frequency over the past couple of weeks. I am left wondering, am I in for a month of depressing literature? Or will further reading of Amsterdam and deeper analysis of "Crossroads" pleasantly surprise me?

Ian looking Cheery