What a Character

I need to write a “conclusion to a body of two years' worth of work in AP English,” so no pressure right? Note my sarcastic tone, I am actually feeling an inordinate amount of pressure right now, pathos anyone? Perhaps some sympathy from kindhearted audiences? But let’s disembark the pity train, before this gets out of hand. After all, if AP English has taught me anything, it’s how to deal with pressure, so I can do this. I’ve met some real characters in AP English, some of them are classmates (a quick perusal of any of the quotes packets can attest to that), one of them is Ms. Serensky, and the rest are from the parade of literature which we tore apart Junior year. It is to these individuals that I would like to speak:

Harriet Jacobs: I am sorry that I berated you for eliciting my sympathy. In retrospect, this may not have been any sort of nefarious ploy; it was probably just due to the fact that you were a slave and lived in an attic for seven years. You did say you weren’t going to make me feel sorry for you, which was misleading and false. However, this was probably due more to the subject matter than to any sort of plotting or manipulation on your part. Sorry.

Dr. Finch (from Running With Scissors): I am not sorry for berating you, you are a bad father, husband, and doctor and that is all I have to say to you.

Truman Capote: What a “Tiny Terror,” the tales of your escapades will be with me forever, unfortunately, so will your tale of coldblooded murder, frankly, I am still pretty disturbed by it.

I also met some not-real characters this year:

Othello: How can such a good general have such train wreck-level horrifically bad judgment? It was a bad idea to listen to Iago, but it was an even worse idea to kill your wife over a handkerchief, not to mention the fact that the two of you were basically on your honeymoon at that point. Seriously, a handkerchief?

Gogol: I’m not going to yell at you Gogol, I really do feel bad that your wife cheated on you, and that she had a moustache, but mostly that she cheated on you.

Mr. Bunbury: Even though you are not real, you taught me about consonance and I am forever in your debt. Get well soon!

Miss Prism: Do not hire absent-minded romance novelists as nannies; I know it sounds like it would be fun right? But it’s not, resist the temptation.

Goodbye characters!

NOT the same thing as a baby

So Long, Farewell

If we all decided to perform an impromptu musical number on the last day of school and the cast from The Sound of Music dropped by, this is probably what would happen…

(All students)
There's a sad sort of clanging
From the bells in the hall
And the bells in the shared space, too
And up in the ward
An absurd little bird
Is popping out to say coo-coo
(Coo-coo, coo-coo)

(Brigitta, Gretel, Marta) (Fredrick, Leisel, Kurt, Louisa)
coo-coo Regretfully it tells us
coo-coo But firmly it compels us
to say goodbye
coo-coo
(All)
To School

(Students)
So long, farewell
Auf Wiedersehen, goodbye
(Marta)
I hate to go and leave Serensky’s sight

(Students)
So long, farewell
Auf Wiedersehen, adieu
(Fredrick)
Adieu, adieu
To you and you and you

(Students)
So long, farewell
Au revoir, Auf Weidersehen
(Leisel)
I'd like to stay
Now could that be arranged?
(Talking to the Ms. Serensky) yes?
(Ms. Serensky) no!

(Students)
So long, farewell
Auf Weidersehen, goodbye
(Kurt)
I leave and heave
A sigh and say goodbye
Goodbye

(Brigitta)
I'm glad to go
I cannot tell a lie
(Louisa)
I drop, my books
I quickly flee, I fly

(Gretel)
The seniors have gone
To Springfest and so must I

(Students) So long, farewell
Auf Weidersehen, goodbye

Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye

Do You Have What It Takes?

Do you have too much time on your hands?  Is your social life just a bit too full? Are you ready to work like an ox? Then step up and join the few, the proud, the AP English Oxen! You’ll do your share of griping and complaining but you will eventually develop a strange love-hate relationship with AP English, and I guarantee you will not regret your choice. These are some of the things that make up for the all the hard work and long hours…

1.      Quotes! Maybe you’ve seen them around the school before, if you haven’t, your life is not yet complete

2.      Emerging from the “depths of mental midgetry”

3.      Someday you will get a sticker, perhaps it will be Harry Potter themed, or maybe it will tell you “you’re special” (you should be so lucky), either way the excitement you feel as an upperclassman will rival anything you experienced upon receiving a sticker as a small child.

4.      It’s better than spending 7 years in an attic

5.      You will watch a Leonardo DiCaprio movie (Ms. Serensky has a crush on him)

6.      Multiple Choice Games: the rivalry, the trash talking, the enthusiastic cheering!

7.      Because you need a way to fill all that spare time, remember, idle hands are the devil’s playground!

8.      Come AP week, you will be ready for the test; it’s a good feeling to walk out of that room with a feeling of confidence, rather than dismay.

9.      Learning to be a writer, the most important part of AP English

10.  Blogs! They’re surprisingly fun and a welcome break from formal writing assignments

Sarcasm aside, AP English is worth every minute of work, if you had the chance to completely overhaul your abilities as a writer and literary analyst before college, why wouldn’t you take it?

 

A Meeting of Three Men Who Are Not Friends

Two men gather outside the Rec Center, clearly intrigued by the goings on inside, though they maintain an awkward silence between themselves. At last, a third man arrives and finally breaks the ice…

Randall Patrick McMurphy: “Good mornin’, buddies” (Kesey 11)

Lane: “sir” (Wilde 1)

(Clive gives only an indignant look, mutters about a shocking degree of informality among the fans)

Randall Patrick McMurphy: “Hooeee…look what we got here,” I reckon that could be an AP English Language and Lit-ra-ture Exam (Kesey 23)

Lane: “I have had very little experience of it myself” (Wilde 1)

Clive Linley: Well I’m sorry to hear that, but “there [must be] a certain level of achievement, a gold standard, that [is] nonnegotiable, beyond mere opinion” so I take great interest in these things (McEwan 143)

Randall Patrick McMurphy: Looks like she’s writin’ somethin’ “is this the usual pro-cedure?” (Kesey 57)

Clive Linley: Yes, it is an essay, but “do you think the whole piece is hanging together well? Structurally, I mean?” (McEwan 175)

Lane: “it is not a very interesting subject” (Wilde 2)

Clive Linley: “it [would] …be going too far to say [she is]…a genius [like myself]” (McEwan 143)

Randall Patrick McMurphy: Speakin’ of “structurally” all them rows look “like a Chinese prison camp” (66).

Lane: “Yes” (Wilde 1)

Randall Patrick McMurphy: “I’ll bet you two dollars here and now that [she’ll finish in time]” (Kesey 14)

Clive Linley: Hardly, “I mean, to [write] that way, with no awareness, like an animal” (McEwan 5)

Lane: "I don’t think it polite [to say so], sir” (Wilde 1)

Clive Linley: “Kindly bugger off...If you don’t go away I shall smack your stupid face” (McEwan 178)

Lane: “I do my best to give satisfaction, sir” (Wilde 18) (stalks off, clearly offended)

                                           

The party disperses and McMurphy calls after the other two that an early forfeit means they have to pay him double.

                                               Meet the Cast

Randall Patrick McMurphy

Lane

Clive as he sees himself

Clive as everyone else sees him

 

And The Winner Is...

      “It might not be going too far to say that he was…a genius,” then again, it definitely wouldn’t be going too far to say he was an egomaniac, and Vernon Halliday would have no qualms about saying he was “insane” (McEwan 143)(McEwan 161). What a guy, there’s clearly a lot going on there, and if you feel a compulsive need to analyze everything, then I must suggest that you “run nerds, RUN!” before we get into some of Clive Linley’s finer moments (Ms. Serensky).  Delusional and selfish, Clive has only one love in his life, his symphony, it is to be his crowning glory, the defining moment of his career, except “Half the BSO [Boston Symphony Orchestra] refuse to play it” (McEwan 190). I could almost feel bad for the guy, if only he were capable of feeling bad for someone else. But his actions in the Lake District destroyed all hope of that, so I’ve adopted a mixed bag of indignation at his moral littleness and delighted amusement at his absurdities. Together with his old friend/mortal enemy Clive embarks on a journey to fill the “void…that only revenge could fill” (McEwan 173). The question is, how exactly can a book with two despicable main characters, bent on the destruction of the other, which culminates in a ruthless double murder be my favorite? Am I a terrible person? No, I am not, Ian McEwan is just a good writer, he crafts two characters with so little moral fiber and so much blind, self-deluding egotism that no matter what they do, you have to laugh. And so, without further ado, I would like to present the prestigious Kaleigh O. Best Book of AP English 12 Award to… Amsterdam!

And Now For My Personal Favorites

1.      My freshman year started off with a bang, and by that I mean a man in an oversized blouse and skinny jeans that laced up the side took to the stage in the brand new PAC playing an electric violin. Yes, the 6-12 orchestra students put on a concert with Mark Wood, an original member of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. His dramatic performance style has made a lasting impression on the orchestra and he is referenced frequently in class, where he is thought of as “a man without…faults” (McEwan 32). 

2.      Now I don’t mean to diminish the excellent performance of the choir at Springfest last year, but I’m afraid they really couldn’t compete with the Frisbee infomercial, let alone the Gladiators dance team of years past, “What consummate artistry!” (McEwan 136). 

3.      On a more sincere note, I really enjoyed starting AP classes. The workload took a bit of adjusting to, but I distinctly remember driving home during the first week of Junior year and realizing that I had not once felt like my time was being wasted. It was, in every sense of the word, thrilling. I don’t wish to convey the sentiment that non-AP classes are always a “serious failure,” but they are often filled with people who just don’t care very much, which is frustrating (McEwan 138).

4.      This next item didn’t happen during the school year, but it is closely tied to my academic career. While on summer vacation I received the news that I had passed my AP tests.  It was such a relief, I had been living in fear that I would fail one or more of them and then not be able to look that teacher in the eye for the ensuing year, it would have been completely “demoralizing” (Wilde 1).

5.      I know without a doubt that I will miss “Dear Journal,” these moments are undoubtedly among the highlights of AP English. I have especially enjoyed the evolution of the “Dear Journal” voice; apparently Thomas’s journaling persona is a British woman, “It’s delightful” (Wilde 9).

6.      I have to mention our Othello field trip, Ms. Serensky seemed a little surprised when she announced it and we all broke into applause, I don’t think she realized what a big deal it was. Now that we are in High School, we hardly ever go on field trips, it seems like a little thing but it’s good to break schedule every now and then and have a day “full of excitement” (Kesey 255).

7.      The Blogs themselves have been an incredible experience, when I think back to “that very first week” of the project I remember how anxious I felt, but I now have much more confidence as a writer (Kesey 323). Some favorite moments from the blogging experience are my “Déjà Vu” blog, which is the first time I really had fun writing a post as well as discovering how much fun it is to find pictures for all my posts.

8.      By reading the list thus far you might have gotten the idea that AP English has dominated my academic life, and you would be correct. Much like the ‘“Combine”’ it takes over both the “Inside” and the “Outside,” that is, the class itself and everything outside of class (Kesey 28). Nonetheless I have taken other classes and they deserve some mention. A moment that stands out is when I finished the related rates packet I had to do over Winter Break for Calculus. It took a while but when I finally worked through the whole thing I felt like I was on top of the world, I’ve heard it described as a “math high,” I think that is apt.

9.      Of course, I will return to AP English now. I loved writing the Amsterdam essay, even though Ms. Serensky totally freaked me out by piling on the pressure and expectations, once I got down to the actual writing it was an enjoyable experience, to borrow from the previous list item, it was an “English high.” To top it all off, I got a sticker on that essay (my reaction: “Good Heavens!”), which doesn’t happen to me very often and pretty much made my week (Wilde 8).

10.  For my final item I want to return to the Blog project. I would say my blog has a very limited following and I never get more than a few comments. My moment of shining glory came when I blogged about Sarah Pe. Ross for her birthday, I had eight comments, my page-views shot up, and someone who isn’t even in AP English talked to me about my blog! It was pretty exciting, but I guess I owe my fifteen minutes of fame to Sarah’s ability to pose like a “bull goose loony” in pictures (Kesey 21).





This is Just to Say...

This Is Just to Say

I love this poem

more than

all the rest

of the poems

I loved

the new versions

we wrote

“What a lesson” (Wilde 26)

Forgive me

our Cassio poem

shocked

and offended

It was truly an “intellectual pleasure” to compose a version of this poem from Cassio’s point of view; I had so much fun writing it with my group (Wilde 21). Unfortunately, when we read it, we got some looks of shock and dismay from the class at large, maybe it was our description of Cassio’s “friend” Bianca. Regardless of the lack of critical acclaim, it was one of those rare occasions where you could be “utterly absurd” and still learn (Wilde 30).

Bianca and Cassio

THE FACE

  

      I had resigned myself to a class period of careful note taking as I dutifully pulled out a sheet of notebook paper in preparation for the movie. Happily, it soon became clear that this would not be at all like the time we watched Capote and I spent days frantically scribbling quotes and observations. I uncertainly tucked the paper back into my notebook and the day only got better from there. Ms. Serensky was pulling out all the stops in her effort to build suspense about a particular scene (I'm sure you all know where this is going). The anticipation was almost tangible in the room as the television switched on and the DVD loaded. Suddenly, and without warning, "A picture swirls onto the screen" of a truly horrifying visage (Kesey 143). It is "rather startling, even a little shocking" and it elicits exclamations of astonishment from the entire class and a physical display of revulsion from poor Gogol (McEwan 134). "My first impressions of people are never wrong" and this shock and horror was pretty typical of my overall opinion of Moushumi (Wilde 34). Nonetheless, I'm glad she cut such an absurd figure onscreen. I can almost forgive her for being such an all-around terrible and selfish person because of the onscreen amusement she provided. The image of her teenage self is forever burned into my memory and I will always be able to look back at this hilarious moment.

Perhaps Moushumi Should Have Taken a Cue from Ashima

 

A Friendly Visit

(The Lifeguard enters Algernon’s Morning-room, accompanied by Lane, the sound of someone munching on cucumber sandwiches can be faintly heard in the adjacent room)

Lane: I am sorry my master is not in at present, would you like to leave a card and call again later?

Lifeguard: “I ain’t ready” to go yet, I’ll wait for him a little while, got anything to eat?  (171).

Lane: I do wish I could offer you some refreshment sir, but “There were no cucumbers in the market this morning…Not even for ready money,” I’m afraid the best hospitality I can offer is bread and butter (8).

Lifeguard: Better than what they serve in the Disturbed Ward, got anything to drink?

Lane: “I do my best to give satisfaction, sir” (18). And I can in fact offer you some champagne, I assure you that, as Mr. Moncrieff is a bachelor, it is of the finest quality, unlike “married households [where] the champagne is rarely of a first rate brand” (1).

Lifeguard: I don’t know if that’s such a great idea, see “I got picked up for drunk and disorderly” a while back and now I been committed to a ward for “eight years and eight months,” I ain’t been allowed to go back to playin’ football all that time (171).

Lane: How very unfortunate. Sir, I don’t think my master will be in today, as that is the case, perhaps you do not want to wait any longer for him.

Lifeguard: “I’d have left here before now if it was up to me” (171).

Lane: (with a tone of uncertainty) “Yes, sir” (1). (Lane appears to be pondering the Lifeguard’s words intently). Of course it is not my place to ask questions but, sir, you are not making any sense, you are perfectly free to go at any time.

Lifeguard: You have no idea Lane, “I’m about to get real weird with it.”

Lane: I really do not follow your logic, and I must act that you refrain from any weirdness in Mr. Moncrieff’s Morning-room.

Lifeguard: (his eyes begin to glaze over) Too late Lane, “I’m committed” (171). (He starts “spitting numbers and [drops] to all fours in a line stance” (170))

Lane: Sir?

(The Lifeguard charges towards Lane and tackles him to the ground)

Lane: OW! OW! SIR! WHAT… I REALLY… OK… I LIED ABOUT THE CUCUMBERS! ALGY’S IN THE NEXT ROOM …HE’S SO GREEDY WITH THEM I COULDN’T STOP HIM …OW! OW! I MUST ASK YOU TO LEAVE …OW...IMMEDIATELY!

The Elusive Cucumber Sandwiches

A Perfectly Frightful Day

Gwendolen in the 1986 BBC Version

Dear Diary,

The worst thing happened today, I thought I would sit in on an AP English 12 class, but it did not go at all as I expected. I suppose I should have known the morning was doomed when I sat down in the wrong seat, I was "quite comfortable where [I was]" but another student unceremoniously demanded that I move, it was so embarrassing (8). I take comfort only in the fact that I did not muddle through the confusion alone, Marc exclaimed that he "never knew which seat was his." Since others struggled equally I place the fault on the chairs, rather than myself. I feel great relief in the knowledge that I may continue with the distinction of telling other that I am "never wrong" (10). But my trials did not end there, suddenly and without warning the students began to hurl literary devices about the room in a rapid-fire discussion. Not wanting to be left behind, I announced that the main character symbolized societal "ideals," a topic I am quite fond of and was prepared to converse on at length (10). To my utter shock the teacher did not allow me to develop my point but informed me that people are not symbols, they are synecdoches. By this point I felt more foolish than I had over the chair incident, I cannot bear such correction. Really, the "old-fashioned respect for the young is fast dying out" (17). Many people talk of suffering in the world, and I finally feel I may say I have suffered as well, I simply cannot imagine anything worse than such a day.

Until Tomorrow,

Gwendolen

In The Office of Final Judgment

Interviewer- Name?

Subject- I’m sure you’ve heard of me, don’t you recognize me?

Interviewer- No, I don’t think you’ve been here before.

Subject- Well, I must say… Perhaps you would recognize a little tune… I don’t suppose you have a piano?

Interviewer- No such luck. If you could just give me your name I can pull up your file.

(Subject draws himself up to his full height and a lengthy pause ensues)

Subject- I am none other than Clive Linley, although between you and me and I do fancy myself “Vaughan Williams’s heir,” you know, the great composer (23).

Interviewer- I see

Subject- Did you note the part about Vaughan Williams? That’s important.

(Subject attempts to peer across desk to read interview notes)

Interviewer- Of course I did, I’m sure they will be very interested in that Upstairs.

Subject- Upstairs? Where are we?

Interviewer- This is the Office of Final Judgment

Subject- I’m afraid I don’t understand. Is this a government office? I really think I should be going now; I have just a few finishing touches for my Symphony. It was commissioned you know, by Parliament; I beat out McCartney for the job.

Interviewer- Mr. Linley…

Subject- Please call me Clive…

Interviewer- Clive, you need to know, you’re dead, and have been for several hours. Now if we can just sort through your records you can move on.

(Subject seems to be at a loss for words)

Interviewer- Now Clive, there seems to be an interesting incident which occurred recently in the Lake District, can you tell me about that?

Subject- Oh… well… not my proudest moment but… had I known… no idea there was a record, an examination at the end…

Interviewer- I find it is safe to assume that there is usually an examination at the end, take AP English 11. If I had neglected my studies throughout the year I hardly could have expected to pass the AP test.

Subject- But as to neglect, I’m not sure that’s entirely fair to say.

Interviewer- You yourself noted that the woman in question was “looking for a stone to use as a weapon,” and yet you declined to interfere, I don’t know how else to describe it but neglect (95).

Subject- Well when you put it that way… How exactly am I being graded?

Interviewer- On a scale of one to nine

Subject- You mean to ten, wouldn’t that make more sense?

Interviewer- It is based on the system of judgment utilized in AP English 11

Subject- What is it with AP English 11? I really don’t see how it is relevant at all.

Interviewer- Neither did I at first, but as the year went on, I saw how it taught me to analyze more than books in class. I found I picked up on subtleties in other books, as well as movies and I found the improvement in my writing skills invaluable. The essays on my other AP tests were a walk in the park in comparison to AP English essays.

Subject- Well I’m glad you’ve worked that out, but can we bring the attention back to me?

Interviewer- Right, so Lakeland?

Subject- But we could talk about AP English 11 some more if you wanted to.

Interviewer- Don’t avoid the question, that is the most important thing you learn in AP English 11, answer the question, if you don’t, you can’t hope to get higher than a 4.

Subject- A FOUR! Are you suggesting that you would give me a FOUR, just because I was avoiding your questions? ABSURD! You know, I didn’t want to appear arrogant but I am “A genius” and geniuses don’t get fours, they get tens, or nines, or whatever is the highest number in your ridiculous system (143)!

Interviewer- Please don’t shout, I’ll have to call security

(Silence)

Interviewer- Clive, you have to talk eventually

(Silence accompanied by dirty look)

Interviewer- (on intercom) we’ve got a difficult one in Interview Room C, can I have a supervisor in here?

Redemption

Earlier this week, our first discussion about our new novel Everything Matters! quickly deteriorated into a no-holds-barred blame fest. As Ms. Serensky pointed out, our class has a remarkable tendency to turn everything into a witch hunt. I know for certain that I am guilty of this, as I immediately jumped into the blame game, trying to determine who was the biggest failure as a parent, person, and role model. However, I realize this is a very unkind and not a very useful habit to cultivate. In hopes of redeeming myself, I have decided to find all the things I like about the characters and say nice things about them, instead of self-righteously tearing them down.

Debbie: She was a pretty good mother to Junior for a few years. Although I can't condone the beating she gave Rodney during Junior's seizure, I can say it stemmed from a strong protective instinct for her younger son.

John Sr: A man of few words, while he can come off as cold, his kids seems to know he feels "genuine affection" for them (83). His physical absence is due not to a lack of love for his family but from a desire to provide for them. Most importantly, John has integrity; he refuses to profit off his son's talent for baseball, even though he could use the money. On the subject of that sport, I admire that the untimely end to his own promising career has not turned him into a bitter person.

Uncle Rodney: I suppose he didn't know Rodney was stealing cocaine from him.

Rodney: One moment from Rodney's visit to Chicago really stood out to me, as his father slowly strangles Dallas Green, Rodney steps in and asks to meet Harry Caray. It snaps John out of his murderous rage and when he explains to Rodney that that just isn’t going to happen, Rodney replies" I know...I just wanted you to stop choking him...I don't want you to go to jail" (80). Rodney is unconcerned with punishing Green for his arrogance or venting his rage, he just cares about keeping his family safe, what's not to admire?

What A Lovely Shade of Green!

I'll Do the Title Later

Computers are a wonderful invention, and whenever I pull up billions of results with a few keystrokes and the click of a button on Google, I know I'm spoiled. But that wealth of information all at my fingertips is a double-edged sword. Sometimes I tell people I have Internet ADD, because I just become so hopelessly distracted whenever I open it up. After doing four SOAPSTones in a row over the past two weeks, I have realized how distracted I become whenever I sit down at the computer to work. If you can sense a list coming right about now, your intuition is dead on.

Things I do Instead of Working on the Computer

1.      Read my classmates’ blogs

2.      Read the comments to my classmates’ blogs

3.      Read my old blog entries

4.      Read my old comments

5.      Find polls to vote on (I definitely need to spend less time on blogger)

6.      Pace

7.      Go on Wikipedia Tangents (I know they’re just trying to be helpful by making every other word a link but the temptation is too great for a procrastination addict like myself)

8.      Keep a detailed log of the comments I make to other blogs (I actually did this last semester, I spent a great deal of time double-checking my records and making sure my handwriting was neat)

9.      Write things in my planner which I have already done, just to have the satisfaction of crossing them out (probably not the point of having a planner, I know)

10.  Create a mental to-do list; go over it several times as I pace around my room. As the hours tick by and I procrastinate, getting nothing done, I gradually eliminate items from the list until it is just the bare essentials.

11.  Research competitive rabbit jumping (one of my favorite Wikipedia Tangents, apparently its popular in Northern Europe)

12.  Pace

13.  Sit at the computer, open a word document, open up the internet, check blogger, then turn around in my seat and watch TV for the next half hour

Looking at this list, I realize I have a serious problem with procrastination, and I’m not sure how I get anything done. Maybe I should it make my goal for the rest of my senior year to be more industrious, or I could do it next year…

It's a real thing!

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

Ladies and Gentlemen, our own Sarah Ross, reigning AP English student of the year, is turning 18 on Wednesday, February 23, 2011. To commemorate this momentous occasion, I wanted to share a few of my favorite things about Sarah.

1.      Sarah is really good at krumping and rapping.

2.      The phone messages she leaves for Katie Connolly, truly, they are jewels.

3.      THE ALL-CAPS TEXT MESSAGES SHE SENDS ME PERIODICALLY, WHAT A YOUNG BELLIGERENT.

4.      Sarah was almost named Betsy, in honor of Betsy Ross.

5.      When she contradicts herself in the course of a single sentence, example: “Oh, I’ll eat anything… but I’m really picky” or “No, no, really, I like dogs!” (As she cringes and flinches because of her proximity to a dog). To be fair, the dog in question was climbing on her and licking her face, but it was pretty funny to see Sarah, clearly uncomfortable, insist that she was completely fine with a dog climbing on her and licking her face.

6.      The “Smoky” voice.

7.      Sarah got AP English student of the year…and wasn’t present to receive her award

8.      Sarah does not believe that she is one of Ms. Serensky’s favorite students. When confronted with the evidence of the abovementioned award, she insists it means nothing and offers ridiculous explanations. Sarah is extremely modest, and I know she just wants to avoid bragging, but no one is going to believe that Ms. Serensky gave you the award “because she felt bad for you” Sarah.

9.      Hitting the road with Sarah is always an adventure; she is talented enough to drive without the use of her hands, eyes, or full attention.

10.  Her blog address is sarahpeross.blogspot.com. What is that “pe” doing between “sarah” and “ross” you might ask? Sarah opted to include the first two letters of her middle name, not the whole thing, or just the first initial, but the first two letters. Only Sarah.

11.  Her creative writing story. Sarah let me read the beginning stages of her “Adventures at the Cavs Games” and I recommend it to anyone who likes to be entertained. Really, I like any story Sarah is telling, she makes everything so funny.

12.  Sarah can do cornrows, or rather one single rat-tail cornrow down the back of your head, after which she gives up.

13.  Sarah has about a million nicknames, and she only pretends to dislike them.

14.  Sarah is so sincere, example: “Ms. Serensky, please write my essay.” Isn’t that what we all really wanted? All that complaining was just a smokescreen to hide what we were really asking for, and Sarah summed it up in six words.

15.  Sarah is a great writer, and always has been, just check out her childhood journal, she’s a natural comedian.

16.  Sarah is embarrassed by her friends; she shushes us if our voices become too piercing in public places. When I told her about this post she made a face and told me everyone would think I was weird and I shouldn’t do it. Obviously, I went ahead with it anyway, but please vote on my poll and let me know if you think this is weird.

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY SARAH PE. ROSS/ ROSSI-POO-POO/ ROSS THE BOSS!

Acknowledgments go to Katie Connolly for her help in brainstorming this list.

By the way Ms. Serensky, Sarah REALLY wants the whole class to sing happy birthday to her to open up Blog Banter on Wednesday, she’s just too shy to ask you herself.

Please comment with your favorite things about Sarah Ross and wish her a happy birthday on wednesday!

Eyes on the road Sarah!

The same reaction Sarah will have to 18 candles

Sometimes Sarah is just so embarased by her friends

The Birthday Girl!

What Sarah wears to rap

Belligerence

On Complaining About Data Sheets:

Be careful what you wish for.

Deja Vu Again



We the AP English Nerds... Are our own worst enemy

      As I sat in Government class and listened to Mr. Brownlow expound on the dangers of the majority and how the Constitution artfully controls and limits these dangers, I realized I had heard this lecture before. As usual, it all comes back to AP English. I recall a speech by Ms. Serensky in which she asserted that our stress and anxiety stems not from her tyranny (to use a government term) but from our collective neurosis. In government jargon, AP English students are a faction, perhaps several factions. The most dangerous of these factions is the chronic overachievers, I suppose we all fit into this category in terms of the world at large, but there are some who have earned overachiever status even within our competitive group. Nothing strikes fear into my heart like being surrounded by breathless mutterings of Shakespeare or rumors of 40 page data sheets. Then there is the classic overachiever cry of "I only memorized 37 quotes last night- do you think that will be enough? I'm just really stressed about it!" which suddenly makes my preparations seem woefully inadequate. I guess we are still under the Articles of Confederation down in the English hallway, our factions are out of control and tyranny of the majority is in full swing. We have a pretty big essay coming up and I have a revolutionary suggestion, in lieu of drafting a Constitution, let's just follow a simple game plan: remain calm, do not incite panic among your fellow students, and we will all get through this with our sanity intact.